Saturday, August 20, 2005
Do you know, it's a hard thing to do, to tell someone you know, well bye the way I've got HIV. Two more people I know I've just had virtually in tears. It was perhaps a bad thing to tell any more people I know but these things happen don't they. In a strange kind of way I feel nothing about it at the moment. Strangely detached like it's another person, someone else not me. Perhaps that's just a coping mechanism, I don't know but there it is. I called the GUM clinic, to see if the CD4 & viral load results were in yet. They are not done, I'm pissed off about this it means I'm going to have to wait yet another two weeks before I know what's going on with my immune system. All this waiting about, I feel like my life is on hold, even though it probably isn't. I have an appointment with my GUM clinic doctor, on Monday so they will probably take more blood tests then. I suppose I'll just have to wait.......zzzzzzzzz. So as to how things are with me at the moment well, as OK as things ever are. I went over to Leek for a few days, usual few days of excess too much alcohol, cannabis etc but hell it's not as if it's every day is it ?. I don't know what it is with money management but I'm just crap at it. Why I can't budget I'll never understand but I just can't, never have been able to that's just me. I have just enough to last now until I next get paid. I decided not to go for the room in the house next to my Uncle. For a start, the landlord wanted someone to move in straight away. I don't have the month's deposit at the moment, so it's not happening. I didn't go to Manchester or Blackpool for various reasons but hopefully soon. As I write this I'm listening to a repeat of some Glastonbury stuff an acoustic set with Rufus & Martha Wainwright. I saw a documentary about Rufus a while ago, on Channel 4, and after listening to some of his music & his sister & family's music I'm a convert, I like it. I must listen to more music it's good for the soul, mmm. I have to get moving on finding somewhere else to live. Hopefully I should get some money in November enough to pay for a deposit on somewhere so I can start looking then hopefully. So that's about it then for the moment, I'm off for a cigarette & cup of tea & then to bed. Charlie hewitt.mobi Posted at 1:43 am |
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